Bachelorette Breakdown – Men Tell All 2012

It’s the Bachelorette Breakdown “Men Tell All” 2012 episode – or as I like to call it, the “Show Where Everyone Rationalizes Their Behavior By Trying To Convince America That Sunbathing For Seven Hours Everyday Somehow Makes You A Different Person” episode. Nice try Kalon, the ladies aren’t having it.

For most Bachelorette fans, the best part about the Men Tell All episode is the interviews and response from the Bachelors. The crowd reactions are priceless. By the way, is there a place that discriminates more by gender than The Bachelorette studio? The board of trustees at Augusta National are shaking their head in disgust.

Augusta National doesn't allow girls. What losers. Just like the Bachelorette Men Tell All 2012 episode.

My favorite thing about the Men Tell All is the ladies’ reactions. There’s nothing like watching a bunch of single 40-year old women shake their heads in disgust and then whisper in their friend’s ear, “He is such a pig. I’m so glad I’m still single.” If I were in the crowd it would probably look like this:

The Men Tell All episode allows us to revisit some of the great moments of the show and our favorite characters. Ryan, who was one of the most polarizing personalities on the show, got a lot of attention.

Ryan from the Bachelorette’s Top 10 Quotes:

10. “Let’s hurry up and finish these cookies so that I can look like a man again.” [in an apron baking cookies]

9. “There’s definitely an edge to me. The Mean Man comes out on the football field. I miss him sometimes.”

8. “God designed you to be a beautiful woman, so be a beautiful woman. You know what I mean?”

7. “Every man should believe his wife is a trophy.”

6. “I can come off somewhat arrogant but I think that it’s just me being truthful.”

5. “The world it’s our pearl. No it’s not, it’s our oyster. See, I always see the good in things. I’m already thinking there’s a pearl in there. There is a pearl in there. You’re the pearl.”

4. “I’m definitely trouble.”

3. “She is definitely going to be somebody’s trophy wife and I’m pretty sure that I’ve got a good shot at that being mine.”

2. “You’ve been to the gym. I like your butt as it’s been in the gym.”

1. Ryan [on the idea of Emily gaining weight]: “I would still love you I just might not love on you as much.”

Ryan claimed that he is confident and not at all arrogant. I don’t really care, and I like Ryan now that he isn’t on the show anymore. Watching him mix it up with Chris is great. By the way, my fiancé thinks that Chris looks like a character from Fraggle Rock. I’ll let you decide:


Let’s talk about Chris for a second. I still hate that guy. He said that Emily “opened up his eyes to falling in love.” So naturally he decided to go on Bachelor Pad and hook up with multiple floozies. That makes sense, Chris. That being said, I am still excited to watch him on Bachelor Pad.


Kalon also drew a lot of attention for his words and attitude on the show, and even tried to convince everyone that he wasn’t just there to be a “TV villain.” Regardless of his intentions, I was glad that he stirred the pot. Emily referenced a joke that Kalon had made on Twitter, where he posted a picture of a baggage claim and said he was surprised that he didn’t see Emily there. I don’t care how much you dislike Kalon, but that is pretty funny. He had some other Twitter zingers too:

How am I expected to engage in "water cooler" chat about the Bachelorette when my office provides pre chilled bottles of fiji @ your desk?
Kalon McMahon


They should call it "Men Tell Some" If abc ever aired a conversation in its entirety America's collective brain would melt
Kalon McMahon

So now we are left to wait a whole week to find out who Emily is going to choose. I am going to make my recommendation based off whose tweets are better: Arie or Jef.

Time for a Bachelorette Twitter Battle!

Arie starts off with this one…

How long do you think it takes Ryan to make that design in his beard?? #fascinating #manscaping #tookhimlongesttogetready
Arie Luyendyk Jr.

Jef fires back…

I guess if you hate people, don't buy people water
Jef Holm

Arie counters with…

Predictions for MTA: Ryan rocks that crazy hair style, Kalon puts his foot in his mouth (again), Chris gets sad, Sean says the perfect thing
Arie Luyendyk Jr.

Jef plays off a previous joke…

Out shopping...can't decide on a new pair of ray-bans. Should I bridle my fashion?!
Jef Holm

Arie delivers the knockout blow…

Ryan wants to be the bachelor.. WE GET IT!!! They will have to cast 25 beautiful mirrors.
Arie Luyendyk Jr.

It’s over people. Arie wins the twitter battle and my endorsement. Can’t wait till next Sunday to see if Emily also reads the Breakdown.

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3 thoughts on “Bachelorette Breakdown – Men Tell All 2012”

  1. Everyone is saying that Emily is a Gold Digger, but seriously it sounds like both Arie and Jef are pretty funny. Looking at the guy breakdown last night. I am glad with who she has left. Love the Twitter battle!

  2. Great post Brad! I am seriously so confused… I have no idea who she is going to pick. It’s consuming me more than I would want anyone to know. I’m not an Arie fan. He’s okay but does she really want another race car driver? I think that’s one of those professions that you just put up with if you really love the person, but i think if it came around again and you had a choice – I’d avoid the race car driver and learn to love the guy with the more stable and less risky profession. But, then again, I’ve never been accused of being an adrenaline junky. Has anyone else familiar with ML 1st ward noticed that Jef looks like he could be a Wiberg? It’s true. I’m pulling for Jef but it seems like an unlikely match. How could she not want to join that big old family having a great time on their ranch with their $20,000 dune buggy? Come on! Ricki would love it!! Unless she’s spoiled rotten, in which case, she would probably have a hard time sharing and would maybe prefer Arie as a stepdad who at least she wouldn’t have to deal with until he woke at the crack of 9!

    Still voting for Sean. Could he really be as nice as he seems?

Talk to me, loser.

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