TWEEKED! The best tweets of the 2012 Olympics.

TWEEKED! The Best Tweets of the 2012 Olympics

What do James Bond, Voldemort, and Ralph Lauren have in common? They’re all part of TWEEKED! The best tweets of the 2012 Olympics!

NBC plans to air the film Seven after Olympics conclude, promote it by showing Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box.
The Fake ESPN


I'm sorry England, ima let you finish, but China's opening ceremonies was the greatest of all time. #Olympics
Albert Butler


The parade of nations must have gone much, much quicker at the Ancient Olympics: Greece, done.
Ben Greenman


Independent Olympic athletes dance drunk at the 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremonies. TWEEKED! The Best Tweets of the 2012 Olympics.

If drunk dancing is an event, the independent Olympic athletes have to be favorites.


"The vast number of athletes you see here will not win a medal." --Matt Lauer, Motivational Speaker #Olympics
Ryan McGee


Dizzy Rascal, as the only Earthling to ever rap at the Olympics, is now the greatest rapper of all times.
Joey Rhode


Dizzee Rascal at the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony


why look through a dead woman with a bingo addiction's closet for a usa windbreaker when theres one for $110 on the olympics website
c0reY aNN cLaRk


Also, does this mean that The Queen is a Bond girl? If so, that's excellent. Knighthoods all round.
Empire Magazine


My favorite part of the Opening Ceremonies was when nobody talked about Chick-Fil-A for four hours straight.
Steve Bezner


Someone has to say it: This Mr. Bean stuff is why you lost the Revolutionary War, guys.
Aaron Fullerton


Can we admit that Beijing pretty much ruined opening ceremonies for everyone else?
Nate Silver


Just when you thought Kobe couldn't look any more "rapey", they put a beret on him. God bless America. #OlympicCeremony
Don Nichols


Kobe Bryant wears a beret during the Olympics opening ceremonies.


Watching London’s opening ceremonies. Hard to believe my ancestors were conquered by theirs.
Conan O'Brien


I feel bad for other countries because their olympians have no compelling stories worth hearing about. #NBC
Danny Zuker


I would appeal to the judges with a nice Pottery Barn gift card. More thoughtful than cash.
Paulie Pabst


"Hey man, lets start a band." "NO! Lets start a synchronized dive team bro."
Eric Stonestreet


I want to see a gymnast do that on an actual horse
Mo Rocca


Gonna suck when those broke American Olympians try to sell their gold medals to cash for gold and find out they're 92% silver.
Travon Free


I bet Randy Johnson could have been the greatest team Handball player in the history of the world. #bigunit
Todd Grisham


Bird gets hit by Baseball (Randy Johnson) Best Quality


Watching the Olympics is a great way to see someone else's dreams die for a change.


Watching the Olympics on NBC is like watching BREAKING BAD on Monday.
Damon Lindelof


LeBron James makes me want to root against my own country. Man, I really AM from Cleveland, aren't I?
Brandon Stroud


For every gold medal Greece wins it will increase its GDP by 1000%.
Jason Mustian


The Olympics are proof that with hard work and dedication, you can be in a VISA commercial.
Steven Amiri


Think we can all agree that the Australian Gymnastics Team has consistently presented the best variety of sparkle eye make-up.
Jamie Lee


Gymnast hugs look like the worst hugs on Earth.
Josh Hara


After the uneven bars the chinese gymnasts have to go sew US Olympic uniforms for Ralph Lauren.
Rick Muscles


How hard can something be if the best people in the world at it are teenagers? #olympics
Michael Ian Black


I like rooting for foreign teenage girls to fail.
Michael Ian Black


I imagine Jordyn Wieber is going to get torn apart tomorrow on gymnastics talk radio.


Crazy how gymnasts have enough time in their training schedule to record all the voices for the Chipmunks movies.
Chase Mitchell


If I hosted the #Olympics, the opening ceremony would be me playing soduko on my iPad with my pants unbuttoned.
Michaela Watkins


whoever said “it’s a small world” has never had to sit through the country parade in the Olympic opening ceremony
~rita oral☺~


MIKE SCULLYMy kids walked in while I was watching women’s beach volleyball so I had to quickly switch over to porn.
Dave Neville


I can't believe the Opening Ceremony announcers had the balls to say Voldemort's name.
Jason Mustian


The only way I can watch men's beach volleyball is if Goose dies later. #Olympics
Steven Amiri


WVSL Top Gun Volleyball


"Skeet shooting is not what I thought it was" -- every rapper. #Olympics
Jon Warech


The best guy in the world at archery isn't at the Olympics; he's in a one-room cabin in Montana sorting through toenail clippings.
David Angelo


Olympics have me inspired. What r ur hopes and dreams? I want to not die at a Residence Inn
Carey O'Donnell


McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is like the Kardashians sponsoring a job fair.
Rob Fee


The only thing consoling Michael Phelps right now is a kiddie pool of Subway guacamole.
Matthew Dolkart


When is slowly moving on the elliptical while watching TV going to be an Olympic event?
Jim Gaffigan


If remembering people's names was an Olympic sport, my parents didn't love me.
Kevin Christy


Sooner or later a dolphin is going to get his nose stuck in a discarded Olympics logo and suffocate.
Jason Mustian


Beijing: Okay, let's be classy and do things properly. London: YOLO let's get a 40ft Voldemort and Mr Bean to play the keyboard.
slush puppy kisses.


Phelps just swam like a dude who likes weed and subway sandwiches.
Rick Muscles

Talk to me, loser.

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