Jef and Arie are the final two on the Bachelorette Breakdown, losers.

Bachelorette Breakdown – The Showdown

Have we ever seen a final three Bachelorette episode with no fantasy suite? Is Emily starting a trend that will carry over into future Bachelorette seasons? Will ABC make sure this never happens again and find the trashiest, easiest Bachelorette ever for next season? Most likely yes. But for now, let’s just enjoy this display of self-control and respect in this week’s Bachelorette Breakdown!

Wow, what an episode! It was full of helicopters, yachts, and plenty of passion bridling. I’m not convinced that there wasn’t any time spent in the fantasy suites. But I’ll keep my ABC conspiracy theories to myself.

In case you missed it, here is last week’s Bachelorette Breakdown – The Final Four.

A few random thoughts before we get to our Bachelorette performance grades…

– Where is Curacao? If you are a geography nerd like me, you always wonder where all these places are. I looked it up and Curacao is a small Caribbean island off the coast of Venezuela. (I try to make the Bachelorette Breakdown as educational as possible).

– How great was it to see a helicopter again? When you go to a Nick Sparks’ movie you expect to cry like a girl. When you watch The Bachelorette you expect to see multiple helicopters in every episode. We have been jipped this season. That would have been great if Kalon was driving the helicopter. I miss that dude.

Kalon knows the importance of helicopters in the Bachelorette Breakdown.

And now a look at those that left us…

Sean– I don’t think I have ever seen such an emotional rose ceremony as we saw last night. That was rough. I also don’t think I have ever heard so much feedback from fans saying that Emily kicked off the wrong guy.

Emily wants to know what Sean is thinking about. He should've responded. "I feel kind of stupid. Like your skirt." #bachelorette
Andrea Lavinthal
If Sean doesn't win the Bachelorette I will never watch it again.
Sarah Nicole Hughey

Poor kid in Africa who got Sean's other pair of Toms 🙁 #TheBachelorette
Jason Biggs

Errr, ignore the last tweet. After all, that’s the same guy who assaulted an apple pie.

I was expecting Sean to get kicked off this week so I wasn’t surprised. Many people were shocked that this “perfect” guy could was kicked off before Jef and Arie.

Let me explain why Sean got kicked off the Bachelorette…

Emily has already said multiple times that she is looking for someone who is “fun” that can “make her laugh.” Obviously physical appearance plays a role as well, but Jef’s inclusion into the top three shows that she isn’t all about looks and muscles. If I want to break down these guys based on personality, a good test is to look at them from a guy’s perspective. When I look at these guys and think about who I would want to hang out with, I don’t care about looks, muscles, or any of that garbage. I’m just looking at who is cool and who would be a fun hang.

Arie seems like a pretty cool guy. He is a race car driver so we could always talk about that. He probably knows a thing or two about sports. He’s also shown a pretty good sense of humor so I think he could get along with my friends and I.

Jef has a different personality but he seems to have a sense of humor also. While he probably wouldn’t get along great with me and my friends, he has shown some interests and hobbies and I’m sure we could find something in common.

What on earth does Sean even do? What are his interests and hobbies? I know he played football but does he do anything else? Sean has shown zero interesting personality traits and absolutely no sense of humor. Also keep in mind, this show is edited and created to make the show and contestants as interesting as possible – so we are seeing Sean’s “greatest hits.”

Sean kisses Emily on the Bachelorette Breakdown.

If his highlights are that boring and uninteresting, how lame are his other moments that didn’t make TV? It was no surprise that Sean got kicked off. He may be a gentleman, but he is lame. Ladies, look past the muscles.

Sean is a loser on the Bachelorette Breakdown.

And now our weekly performance grades…

Jef– Jef played the fantasy suite card perfectly. He played it so well in fact that Emily said:

“I wanted to be the one to turn him down, but instead he turned me down.”

The girl that everyone stopped their lives for months to meet was turned down? Nice job Jef. He also said that here is a time and place, and that you need to “bridle your passions.” (Alma 38:12)

Did Jef just quote the Book of Mormon? "bridle all your passions" - Alma 38:12 #thatsmyboy #Bachelorette
Benjamin Taylor

Was everyone in America thinking what on earth did he just say? Bridle your passions? What does that even mean? Jef gets an A+ this week and I still find it amazing how every week I doubt him and every week he delivers.

Arie– Arie had a pretty good wee…

Hold up, Chris is gonna be on Bachelor Pad? Ok now he is definitely going to murder somebody on TV. And I will probably be watching.

Ok sorry for getting sidetracked, back to Arie. The show is Arie’s to lose. If he can kee-

Kalon is gonna be on Bachelor Pad?!?!? Ok now I am definitely going to watch. Spoiler alert, Kalon is probably who Chris is going to murder.

Chris is going to murder everyone on the Bachelorette Breakdown.

Sorry I just got really excited about Bachelor Pad, but back to the task at hand. If Arie can keep doing what he’s doing I think he will edge out Jef. Like I said before, Arie is a cool guy and Emily is definitely attracted to him. So what could go wrong? Arie gets an A+

After watching the teaser for the next episode, I have no idea what is going to happen. All I know is that I am super excited and these next couple weeks are going to be tough with nothing to watch. In the meantime, enjoy this clip from Bachelor Pad.

If you like the Bachelorette Breakdown please leave comments and share with your friends!

9 thoughts on “Bachelorette Breakdown – The Showdown”

  1. I get sucked into Bachelor Pad every time. What is with me and trashy television. Love the Break down

  2. I was a longtime Sean favorite but his last date was so painfully dull and filled with so many awkward pauses. I wasn’t surprised when he left.

  3. Jef knew he couldn’t do the fantasy suite do to his family and his religion and parents, and he just throw Ricki name in it to make him look caring and Arie she didn’t give it to him for she knew what would happen and she wouldn’t be good. As for Sean she knew what he said in her ear he would take care her ,later and she knew that Sean love her and Ricki he was the first to tell that Ricki would his and emily didn’t have worry about anything she a real class act.

  4. What are you talking about that Sean has no sense of humor, I think Emily doesn’t have a sense of humor. Sean’s pretending he lived at home, his “room” messy, naming all the stuffed animals etc… had me lmao. And the Armidillo lol.
    C’mon, we only get to see what the show WANTS us to see, Sean is AWESOME … give the guy a break.
    I vote Sean as next Bachelor … then we will see just how much of a SOH he has 😉

  5. He did not make her laugh-messy room/roadkill was not funny. He also said he broke up with girlfriend after 3 yrs-big red flag. Why date someone past one yr if you don’t see a future with them? She was afraid of getting dumped. Sean nice, but something off. Why would HE need this show if he were so perfect? He’ll meet someone soon IMO.

  6. Did it ever occur to those who are convinced Sean is a loser – that he is INTENTIONALLY JUST MORE RESERVED. Why pour it all out there – for all of America to CRITICIZE, RIGHT? Why give the tabloids more to chew on? He is smarter than the rest…he plays it cool…he saves himself for the private times with Emily. Only she knows the real Sean. He wasn’t on the show to PLEASE ALL OF US VIEWERS – he was there to make an impression on Emily…and only Emily. We have to remember we don’t have the opportunity to see and hear everything that goes on behind the camera. I still have hope that Emily rejects the minor, Jeff – and the major into himself racer – and begs Chris Harrison to fly Sean back to her so they can be reunited…isn’t that why we need a live show? Didn’t get any hints of this happening on the Men Tell All – but one can always dream…until Sunday.

    1. …and which BACHELOR came up with the BEST LETTER to Emily!?! That ALONE should’ve convinced her that Sean would be the perfect partner for her and for her daughter…she should’ve only given out ONE ROSE that night – and let the other 2 go – there and then.

Talk to me, loser.

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