Category Archives: Dirty::South

Posts by Dirty::South

Bachelor Breakdown – And Then There Was Juan

For two months we’ve followed our Bachelor Juan Pablo with excitement on his journey to find true love. Little did we know that somewhere along the way we’d discover what a gigantic tool he turned out to be. So the question remains: do we still care about what happens to this handsome-but-idiotic foreign guy – and if we do – are we as ashamed of ourselves as we should be?
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Bachelor Breakdown – Just Hold Juan, We’re Going Home

For most people, meeting the family members of their significant other can be a scary experience since you never know what to expect. This is not the case for our Bachelor Juan Pablo, because when he visits the hometowns of his four girlfriends he’s “just going to try to be himself.” Yeah…that’s EXACTLY what we’re worried about.
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Bachelor Breakdown – Not The Juan For Me

Our Bachelor Juan Pablo has spent the last three weeks trying to find love in other countries. However, nothing will compare to the love he has for his home country, Venezuela, the site of recent protest, violence and even death. Now he returns to his new hometown of Miami, and the fighting there has just begun.
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Bachelor Breakdown – Juan Rose to Rule Them All

As the weeks go on and we learn more about our Bachelor, Juan Pablo, you can’t help but compare him to Bachelors past. A bachelor who is so good at anything, who can even charm you to play today at any games, including online bingos, and other games. Is he the best one? Is he the worst? It’s hard to say, but one thing’s for sure – Juan Pablo is totally, completely and absolutely predictable. Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – Juan Rose to Rule Them All

Bachelor Breakdown – Good Morning Viet-Juan

As the girls and our Bachelor Juan Pablo continue their tour of all things Asian, the key word seems to be “confusion.” Some girls seemingly grow closer to his heart, but are left wondering if he feels the same way about them. Some fall further by the wayside, and are left confused about why he didn’t want to get to know them better. However, shouldn’t ALL of them be asking this question: “Do I really want Juan Pablo?”
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Bachelor Breakdown – Juan Small Leap For Man

By now our Bachelor Juan Pablo is moving at a comfortable speed down the highway of finding true love. He’s probably jamming out to some Venezuelan house music with Ca-MEEE-la dancing in the back seat, wondering when she gets to meet her new mommy. He waves to a group of beautiful, adoring female fans on his way to soccer practice. Life couldn’t be any more bueno.
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Bachelor Breakdown – You Get Juan Chance to Make a First Impression

Being chosen as the next star of ABC’s The Bachelor would typically change a man’s life dramatically. When we last saw this season’s Bachelor Juan Pablo back in August, he was surrounded in a room full of screaming women who all pretty much wanted to marry him and immediately start having his babies. Everyone was out-of-control excited. Well, let’s fast forward a few months and see how the tables have turned. Now he’s surrounded by a significantly smaller group of women who all want to marry him and have his babi… … …OK, I guess not much has changed. Carry on, Juan Pablo. Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – You Get Juan Chance to Make a First Impression