What do Katy Perry, Adrian Peterson, and Whitesnake have in common? Find out in our latest edition of TWEEKED – Best Tweets of the Week!
Best Tweets of the Week for July 6-13, 2012
Today is National Kissing Day, or as they call it in West Virginia; Siblings Day.
Not Bill Walton
According to this drain, all of Whitesnake has secretly been using my shower.
I didn’t know snakes had hair. Is this love that I’m feeling?
Sad that we'll never know what kind of Call Me Maybe parody John Lennon would have written.
Big families are like waterbed stores. They used to be everywhere now they are just weird.
Chumbawamba broke up today, so make sure to pour out a whiskey drink tonight. Or a vodka drink. Or a cider drink.
If you haven’t read this tribute to Chumbawamba yet, you need to.
Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl. She has only been alive an hour & Kris Jenner already sold her first boo boo pictures to TMZ.
Looking forward to reporting to training camp on July 26th. Hard work and Dedication.
Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson’s last tweet before this happened:
people who set off fireworks on July 5th have a favorite wrestler.
In case anyone's looking for a husband, I heard Tom Cruise is hiring.
Check out the best TomKat divorce tweets. Don’t worry, the Scientologists aren’t watching you.
So cool how I never have to say I want 47 broccoli and two pieces of beef when I order Chinese food. They just know.
It's so racist how they always call Venus and Serena "sisters."
Even when Tom Cruise plays a guy paralyzed from the chest down, he has two sprinting scenes.
I complete you
Why does the guy on Man vs. Food wear such a giant watch? "Oh shoot, it's half past I'm disgusting."
Hey ladies, we're here to steal your boyfriends. Sincerely, Modern Warfare 3.
Asked for a ticket for Magic Mike because I was too embarrassed to admit that I was really going to see the Katy Perry movie.
I told myself I would only see Magic Mike if it was in 4-D. I want to be able to smell Channing.
So, I just cry on camera and my village gets a new school?
Third World Kid
"Shakespeare sucks" - 16th century hipster
Michael Ian Black
Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?
Neil deGrasse Tyson
I am going to 'The Annual Sarcasm Convention' tomorrow.......What an inventive name.
I'm not busy if you want to go get some lunch or married.
Rappers shouldn't have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs.
Are gold plated tanks deductible if you use them to drive to work? Make em say uggghhh!
Did Rihanna ever figure out what her name was? #UnansweredHipHopQuestions
just got told I look like I "just got off the beach" which is probably a nicer way to say rehab
c0reY aNN cLaRk
If Mitt Romney had Morgan Freeman's voice he'd be unbeatable.
Eating a beefburger, drinking a milkshake and wearing a leather jacket. A cow just saw me and fell to the floor in tears
I would send my kid there if he wanted to go he wasn't rappin football players that's a great program that joe pa ran
Joe Pa teaching anyone to rap would also be a tragedy.
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Kourtney Kardashian Gives Birth To Four-Hour E! Special
When people say, "I eat to live, I don't live to eat" I wish they would stop doing both.
This whole Tosh situation reminds me of the night the family of watermelons saw a Gallagher show.
In black culture "boo" means boyfriend or girlfriend, so congrats to Mitt Romney!
Ghost Town DJ’s figured this out a long time ago, people.
Ghost Town DJ's - My Boo
When I become president I'm locking the inventor of the McGriddle in a room until he comes up with ten more delicious ideas.
Ray Allen to the Miami Heat? It's official, using Miami in 2K13 will be like using a cheat code.
Not Will Ferrell
Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle.
golden rule is hard, is there a silver rule
Chumbawamba have broken up. This is a sad day for, um, well... the members of Chumbawamba.
Deep Fried Man
See if those kids that were rioting after Joe Pa was fired want a mulligan? #PSU
So you have to eat all your BROCCOLI, because of me ?!!
Third World Kid
I can hardly imagine how hot 90s Fran Drescher was to deaf dudes
Every season of Breaking Bad should end with the sound of a microphone being dropped.
Maybe Kurt Cobain killed himself because he knew he was going to eventually write a Christmas album.
Just so we’re clear, mango is dead to me.