What do John Tesh, the white Steve Nash, and the Bachelorette have in common? Find out in our latest edition of TWEEKED – the tweets of the week for June 30-July 6, 2012.
Just saw a guy holding a paper map. Yes, I punched him in the face.
The 'greatest generation' is NOT WWII vets but today's teens having to like totally balance texting, shopping & One Direction.
I was still mad at the British until Boy George.
Michael Ian Black
Agreed. Would you really want to hurt him?
You're nice to the weird kid once, then BOOM. Stalked for life.
Funny Rude Tweets
Fritzy using a knife and fork to eat wings. Discuss. http://t.co/vKc2HRU5
Update on the Fritzy-knife/fork wing eating situation. NOT boneless wings. Traditional wings.
Fritzy better hope Jon Stewart doesn’t find out about this.
Vince McMahon has banned baby oil and spray tans #fakeWWErumors
Of course, there are always exceptions.
Hey Guys. I'm totally stoked. I love my new image. I actually have on a polo shirt.. I just love everyone.I feel like grey pupon..
USA Today reports Saints coach Sean Payton has filed for divorce. Unknown if there is a bounty yet.
Watching soccer gives me the same feeling as watching a drunk guy try to get his key in the door.
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks
We get a crap load off at Christmas for somethin' everyone doesn't believe in. But ONE day for the USA? A celebraish for ALL? Ain't right.
Just heard a black weatherman say "drizzle" & am ashamed to say that for a second I thought he was doing that Snoop Dogg thing.
I think one of Jef's sisters ate his other f. #Bachelorette
Be sure to also check out the Bachelorette Breakdown – The Final Four!
"What's independence?" "Don't worry about it." - men to women, July 5, 1776
My spell-check wants to change "Tesh" to "Yeah." You needn't bother, spell-check: he does that with his music. #gentleTweets
Did you know John Tesh composed “Roundball Rock” a theme song used for The NBA on NBC from 1990-2002?
Just carpooled to a 4th party with six people in a Prius. You're welcome, earth.
Since 2007, Joey Chestnut has had more hot dogs (377) than the #Pirates have wins (370)
Did anyone else get a yeast infection from seeing "Magic Mike?"
If Lindsay Lohan made it through her cracked-out bleached-blonde lesbian jailbird phase, you can make it through today.
Everything in this photo was made in America, except the flag... That was actually made in China. HaPpY 4th http://t.co/A6rShwFQ
In the wake of Anderson Cooper's shocking revelation, I'd like to announce that I'm fat.
If the Lakers gets Steve Nash and Grant Hill, they'll be the favorites to win the 2005 NBA Championship
Big deal, Anderson Cooper has been gray for years.
I spent 18 years in the closet. Not because I was ashamed to be gay, but because I needed the time to choose outfits.
Got a bad case of the pie sweats.
Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called “50 Shades of Just O.K.”
Missed last week’s best tweets? Check out the best TomKat divorce tweets here!