They SYTYCD judges humiliated the horrible dancers, simply cut the average dancers, and completely stomped on the dreams of the good dancers. What are SYTYCD fans are left with? The first SYTYCD Top 20 Season 9 Live Show!
If you’re like this SYTYCD fan…
and you missed the recap of SYTYCD Top 20 Show be sure to check it out.
This episode opens strong with a Mad Men-esque performance (minus the sex, cigarettes, and scotch) choreographed by Christopher Scott and performed by the Top 20.
Cat Deeley, who normally looks gorgeous, enters the stage looking like a blonde version of a Jersey Shore housemate. I have only two words for her: Tanning Mom. You’re British Cat…nobody expects you to be tan.
She introduces the usual judges Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy – and although I am still distracted by her orange glow – I still hear Cat Deeley refer to Nigel as “Lord of the Dance,” and a new ghastly image enters my head. I have to admit, usually when watching the Live shows I end up fast forwarding through most of the judges
ramblings comments, so I begin bracing myself for the torture of hearing the judges blatant butt kissing of the choreographers, Mary’s over use of the worst catchphrase in history, and their completely bias “critiques” of the dancers.
Apparently I’m not the only one:
Joining Nigel and Mary, is director Kenny Ortega. Kenny may be famous for directing such movies as “This is it”, the Michael Jackson movie, and the High School Musical movies, but his greatest achievement was this gem of a film.
Now, let’s get to what SYTYCD is about…the dancers.
Before each performance, the dancers are given nine seconds to introduce themselves to the audience in a video clip. Nine seconds. You won’t forget it either, since Cat Deeley repeats the “nine second”s thing after every commercial break. The idea is stupid to begin with, and after the third time of hearing the explanation, I’m beginning to think that the producers are just trying to convince themselves that the idea was creative and funny. It wasn’t.
Witney and Chehon
First up is Witney (who we learn has over 100 relatives) and Chehon (a cross between Harry Connick, Jr. and Duckie from Pretty in Pink), who dance a Samba routine choreographed by Louis Van Amstel.
Music: “Jump” by the The Cube Guys
It’s obvious they are making 18-year-old Witney the “sexy” one of the season, with Louie telling her to just “shake her money maker” and Cat praising her for “selling it”. And, leaving me feeling a little uncomfortable.
Chehon was told by most of the judges to basically let go of all his classical ballet training and give in to the music. Or as Kenny says:
Believe in yourself and surrender to the music!
Tiffany and George
Next up Tiffany (who has tiny hands) and George (who gets the III in his name cause his dad is the II…thanks for the lesson, George) meet up with Sonya Tayeh, who choreographs a contemporary routine, and wears the dance pant equivalent of the mom jean.
Music: “Turning Page” by Sleeping at Last
Janaya and Brandon
Janaya (who’s afraid of creepy dolls) and Brandon dance away alcoholism in a Lyrical Hip-Hop number choreographed by Napolean and a (very pregnant) Tabitha.
Music: “Take Care” by Drake feat. Rihanna
Although not as good as some on their more famous routines, it was well choreographed, and would have gone over better with different dancers. Nigel was “glad that Brandon chose the girl over the vodka” and stated:
If there was a choice between Mary or vodka, I would choose Mary every time…of course I’m a scotch man anyway!
Um, was that a compliment Nigel? Luckily, Nigel would never have to make that choice.
Alexa and Daniel
Alexa (who I still don’t know much about except that she likes frozen yogurt) and Daniel (the Aussie who jokes about being related to Crocodile Dundee) throw on costumes that look like a mix between ringmaster and the devil and dance a fast-paced Jazz number choreographed by Sean Cheesman.
Music: “Hey Hey” by Dennis Ferrer
According to the judges this was a very technically difficult routine, but I found it a little forgettable. I’m hoping that Daniel’s personality will get him through to the next round. Alexa can go.
Amber and Nick
Amber and Nick (who’s dad works at the playboy mansion?) get together with choreographer Jason Gilkisondance for a Viennese Waltz. Nick is dancing in his own genre, and as Nigel pointed out, Jason apparently feels the need to motivate him by bringing out his best Abby Lee Miller impersonation.
Music: “Nights In White Satin” by Tina Arena
The judges all gave the performance such praise, and then at the end Nigel says:
…but who knows if you will be here next week.
Apparently, not only do Britains drive on the opposite side of the road…they also build people up and then tear them down as a way of motivation.
Amelia and Will
Amelia (who was named after Amelia Earhart, by her tattoo artist father) and Will dance a cat inspired Hip-Hop number choreographed by Nappy Tabs.
Music: “The Lovecats” by The Cure
It was more entertaining than this Cat musical, and therefore a pretty good routine. I don’t have an affinity for childish word play, so I’ll refrain from quoting any of the cat puns used by the judges in the critiques, but I will give props to Kenny Ortega for the most perverted quote of the night:
Amelia, if we had a kitty like you, we would play with you all day long.
Janelle and Dareian
Janelle (clumsy) and Dareian (who left home and joined the circus) dance an African Jazz routine choreographed by Sean Cheesman. The routine was definitely tribal, and memorable, and although this is the first time really seeing Janelle dance a non-belly dancing routine she will get her to the next round.
Music: “Jungle” by Hilight Tribe
Eliana and Cyrus
Eliana and Cyrus (who owns over 1000 gauges for his ears) get together with choreographer Tyce Diorio for a Broadway routine. Until Othello is made into a musical, Hairspray must be the old stand-by for any routine involving an interracial couple, since it’s not the first time Tyce has used these songs for a Broadway routine.
Music: “Run and Tell That” from Hairspray
Cyrus, people are just going to Google you up…….
????? Put down the “juice” Mary.
Audrey and Matthew
Next up, Audrey (who mentioned Twilight and therefore swiftly dropped to the bottom of my list) and Matthew (who’s starting to look a little less Gosling and a little more Jake Pavelka) dance a Titanic inspired Contemporary routine choreographed by SYTYCD alumnus Travis Wall. Although in Travis’ interpretation there is no couch nudity, nobody dies, and Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On is replaced by an even more predictable love song – the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody.”
Music: “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers
Lindsay and Cole
And finally, Lindsay and Cole (the self named “Asian cliché”: who does martial arts, is good at math, and is related to one of the 47 Ronin Samurai) dance a Paso Doble choreographed by Jason Gilkison.
Music: “Unstoppable” by E.S. Posthumus
And while it was really good – they got a standing ovation from the judges and high praises for the choreographer – the only Paso Doble I want to see is this one.
So what did you think? What was your favorite routine? Who do you think is going home?