It’s Week 4 for our Bachelor Juan Pablo, which can only mean one thing: they’re going somewhere foreign! And since Juan Pablo barely speaks English this can only mean another thing: those Koreans are going to have to talk REALLY loud and REALLY slow.
Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – Me Love You Juan Time
By now our Bachelor Juan Pablo is moving at a comfortable speed down the highway of finding true love. He’s probably jamming out to some Venezuelan house music with Ca-MEEE-la dancing in the back seat, wondering when she gets to meet her new mommy. He waves to a group of beautiful, adoring female fans on his way to soccer practice. Life couldn’t be any more bueno.
Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – Juan Small Leap For Man
Our Bachelor Juan Pablo has just entered the best part of his experience on this show: the week AFTER the first rose ceremony. What makes it so great? Well…let’s just say that for the next few weeks he can literally do no wrong.
Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – Juan Hot Mess
Being chosen as the next star of ABC’s The Bachelor would typically change a man’s life dramatically. When we last saw this season’s Bachelor Juan Pablo back in August, he was surrounded in a room full of screaming women who all pretty much wanted to marry him and immediately start having his babies. Everyone was out-of-control excited. Well, let’s fast forward a few months and see how the tables have turned. Now he’s surrounded by a significantly smaller group of women who all want to marry him and have his babi… … …OK, I guess not much has changed. Carry on, Juan Pablo. Continue reading Bachelor Breakdown – You Get Juan Chance to Make a First Impression
There were only three possible outcomes for Desiree heading into The Bachelorette – The Final Rose finale, and all of them sound kind of terrible: Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – The Final Rose
As Desiree nears the end of her journey to find true love on The Bachelorette, she visits the island of Antigua in the Caribbean for some fantasy suite-ing with Drew, Chris and Brooks. Antigua means “ancient” in Spanish, and is there anything older than a love story gone completely wrong? We’re about to find out. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – He Brooks My Heart
Can you think of a worse thing to be confronted with than a room full of your ex-boyfriends? Ok, well maybe a room of ex-girlfriends is worse – at least for the guys – but what about a room full of angry gorillas? That would be awful, because who wants to admit they dated a gorilla…much less multiple gorillas? Anyway, you get the point. Well, that’s what Desiree had to face this week on The Bachelorette: Men Tell All episode. But these were men…not gorillas…unless you count Mikey and James. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Men Tell All
You know what’s trickier, for women, than dating multiple men at the same time?…meeting their families. Can you imagine the pressure and emotional toll it takes to put on a happy face as you are paraded in front of families, knowing that you will be dumping one of the men in just a few short days? But Desiree, chooses to ignore her womanly impulses of emotional attachment and sensitivity and heads off to meet the men on their turf and in their family home. Yep, it’s the Hometown Date edition of the Bachelorette Breakdown. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Hometown Dates
In the aftermath of the James drama bomb in Barcelona, Desiree and the remaining five Bachelors travel to the mysterious, secluded island of Madeira, Portugal. At first glance, this seems like a fantastic idea, since we all know that there’s nothing more romantic than falling in love on an island, right? Well…think again. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Fantasy Island
In following with their long tradition of visiting “romantic” cities like Atlantic City and Munich, this week The Bachelorette visits Barcelona…so I guess 1 out of 3 ain’t bad, right? But how can any of these Bachelors find love with Desiree when there’s a giant leech in their midst? Yes, I’m looking at you, James. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – James and the Giant Leech
What do you get when you take two guys, one girl, and put them in a hot tug? Well, maybe that came out wrong, but the answer is a lot of drama. This week the Bachelorette travels all the way to Munich, Germany who’s motto is “München mag dich,” which disappointingly translates to “Munich likes you.” So much for being the most romantic city in Europe. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Munich
After 26 seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, ABC is starting to run out of super date ideas, which can only explain why they chose to visit the Hurricane Sandy-ravaged and freezing cold shores of Atlantic City. But when you have 13 guys with perfect abs, where else can you go but the Jersey Shore? GTL, baby! Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Atlantic City, Baby!
Why do men go to war? Sometimes it’s for power and fame. Other times it’s for wealth. And sometimes it’s for love, but only if she’s really hot. In this episode of The Bachelorette, we have a whole lotta fightin’ going on, and it’s up to Desiree to make sense of it all. Continue reading Bachelorette Breakdown – Love is a Battlefield
If you wondered “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” if he ever had the chance to go on Spring Break then today is your lucky day. The answer: EVERYTHING! Continue reading “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” – Lochte Spring Break
What has Ryan Lochte said is always the most important thing? No, please don’t say “TURNING IT UUUPPP!” though I’m sure that has merit. It’s family. Family is the most important part of a Lochte’s life, and Ryan would do anything for their happiness. However, in episode seven of “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” it feels like his family is dead set on ruining his. Continue reading “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” – The Brothers Lochte