Polar Bear plunge on the Bachelor.

Bachelor Breakdown – The Polar Bear Plunge

Remember when the residents of the Bachelor house used to actually get along and kind of be friends? I loved those times – when bros could be bros, and girls were only snotty to each other behind their back.

Seriously, what ever happened to this?

The Bachelorette – The Bachelorette Uncensored: Pillows! – The Bachelorette

Pillow spinning? Yep, that’s some bro time.

It seems like when you put a bunch of desperate women in a house, and they are all courted by the same man, that friendships just don’t happen. And then throw in a girl like Tierra in the house.

Tierra on the Bachelor is crazy.

We will get to Tierra and her crazy drama this week but first let’s honor our fallen heroes. [cue Hunger Games cannon blast]

A quick look at the Bachelorettes that left us…

Jackie was a third wheel on Tierra and Sean’s one-on-one date, and then took it upon herself to diss on Tierra behind her back.

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I always find it interesting to see how the Bachelor strategizes his two-on-one dates. In this case it looks like he took a girl that he was probably going to send home soon (Jackie) and a girl that he knows he could send home at any moment (Tierra).

Some Bachelors use the two-on-one date as a nice way to send girls home. They try and save these girls from the embarrassment of not receiving a rose at the rose ceremony, but they definitely still want to send them packing.

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Robyn got sent home in the rose ceremony. While I saw this coming, I am pretty bummed that she is leaving. Had she stayed I am positive that her and Tierra would have come to blows eventually. Credit to Robyn for calling Tierra out on her crap. The house needs a few more girls like her who keep it real.

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Daniella was sent home as a surprise to nobody but herself in the most predictable rose ceremony ever. She reminds me of Ke$ha for some reason. So while her time on The Bachelor is over maybe she may have a future in being a terrible person making terrible music.

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Selma – the most interesting Bachelorette ever – was sent home unexpectedly, but not before she disgraced her family and faith by giving Sean the most awkward kiss ever on national TV. Her parents are gonna be pissed when she gets home. Not only did she disgrace their culture by kissing Sean, but she did it in such an embarrassing way.

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Sean made a huge tactical mistake when he called Sarah out in front of everyone and then sent her home immediately. His reasoning was that he didn’t feel right making Sarah sit around for another day to wait for the rose ceremony when he knew he was going to send her home.

So let me get this straight Sean, rather than make poor Sarah sit around in a five star hotel sipping champagne all day, you decided it would be better to single her out (which probably got her hopes up) and then send her home? Huge mistake. We all knew that he had a delicate situation on his hands and he botched it.

The proper way to kick her off would have been to invite her on a two-on-one date with Desiree or Lesley (someone who he is obviously going to keep). Then, he just acts nice the whole time until he has to make a decision. He explains to Sarah that he “just felt a deeper connection with the other girl.” This would have been the right way to send her home. Sean chose the worst possible way to do it.

Also, Sean’s conversation with Sarah reminded me a lot of this scene from Wayne’s World:

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Top 3 Bachelorettes (in no particular order)

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Lindthay ith thuper exthited to be in the top three! On her date to Glathier Nathional Park her and Thean got to thpend thome quality time together.

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Desiree was pissed after she chugged a half a bottle of goat’s milk for nothing. After winning the challenge and getting quality time with Sean, he decided to invite the losers back to the party, thereby defeating the entire purpose of the challenge in the first place. I’m with Des on this one. Who do you think you are Sean? You think that just because you are The Bachelor you can undermine the concept of competition? I can sympathize with Des because in my experience, anytime you chug goat’s milk and you don’t get what you want it is a pretty terrible feeling.

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Lesley got one of the one-on-one dates this week and went on a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park. Lesley is starting to look like an early favorite. She stays out of the drama and gets as much time with Sean as possible. If the other girls don’t step up this thing could be over soon.

Episode Highlights

Did anyone notice the foot tattoo??? Who gets a tattoo on the top of their foot???

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After watching this clip over 20 times I have deduced that it is Lindsay with the foot tattoo. Which leaves me with three questions:

1) What would be the reason for getting a tattoo on the top of your foot? Were you forced to get a tattoo and didn’t want people to see it?

2) Was this a group thing where her friends all got foot tattoos?

3) What is that design?

Actually I have a lot of questions about Lindsay’s foot tattoo, and I need to hear the story behind it. In my opinion, this one quick camera shot tells us that there is a lot more to Lindsay than we might have thought.

And now that we are down to only six girls we are left with…

Who Is Most Likely To Go Home This Week

You pretty much have to give this to Tierra, but If I was betting I would put AshLee in this spot instead. Tierra attracted attention again when she went into shock after plunging into freezing water. Whether this was fake or not we may never know, but going by Tierra’s track record I am going to say that she staged the whole thing.

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Which is actually good for Tierra because if she had really got hypothermia like Mr. Deeds then Sean would probably send her home:

*Mr Deeds – Foot Scene*

Next week the group is heading out to a tropical island. I can only imagine what Tierra will come up with there. Shark attack? Kidnapped by pirates? At this point I wouldn’t be surprised with either.

I end with this awesome GIF of Sean before the polar bear plunge.

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4 thoughts on “Bachelor Breakdown – The Polar Bear Plunge”

  1. It’s cracking me up all the little details you notice. I actually did notice that tattoo as there was a quick flash of it and in my mind I said, “Holy cow! What was that?” But I just did not have the time to rewind and investigate so I am so glad you did! We can all rest easier now knowing that it just might be… Lindthey. Tierra is something else. Here’s a tip for future Bachelors (and this applies to all males) – if a girl does not get along with other girls that is a major red flag! Just because you are competing for the same guy on a tv show doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to the other girls. Allow me to translate for all bachelors everywhere… when a girl says “Girls just don’t like me,” what she is really saying is, “I’m a crazy b***h.” If girls do not like your potential girlfriend, run the other way and don’t look back – no matter how hot she is!! Even Heidi Klum has girlfriends! Yes, it can sometimes suck having a friend who is way more beautiful than you are (I’ve had several – possibly all) but at least when you have a stunning friend there are guys flocking around your vicinity when you are with her. Chances are much higher of finding a guy by attracting the attention of one of her leftovers than if you were hanging around with someone uglier and/or duller than yourself.

    When I was in high school, we used to go “cruising.” No it was not in the 50’s – thank you very much – I think I caught the tail end of cruising in the late 70’s before there were gas shortages. There was a certain main street and cars full of teenagers would drive up and down until you found someone who interested you and then you would stop and talk or maybe get a burger. We would always make our friend Belinda ride in the front passenger seat, in spite of her protests. She would usually refuse and ask why she always had to be in the front (because she was kinda shy) and we usually told her that we just fit better that way – but the truth was that she was gorgeous and we knew that guys would want to stop and talk to us if they got a look at her. She was completely unaware of just how beautiful she was (like most beautiful girls out there) and she was the sweetest girl ever. (Kinda feel bad now that we pimped her out like that…) So to all the Tierras and Viennas and whoevers out there… girls don’t like you not because you are hotter than they are – they don’t like you because you are selfish, spoiled and self-absorbed. There you go – secret’s out!

  2. PS – I would have hated the plunge! Does every girl wonder how she would have reacted in some of these situations? I do. I’m guessing I would have been somewhere in the middle of the pack. I wouldn’t have been leading the way saying this will be fun but I wouldn’t have been crying or telling Sean I’m not doing it. I would have been one of the few that just did it and got it over with and maybe I would have said that was so fun afterwards. Not sure about that! I love the repelling, rock climbing, bungee jumping dates where everyone acts like their life is in danger. Those things would scare me, but please…. Do you really think ABC is going to let the girls fall to their deaths? There are harnesses and safety nets in position, I can guarantee. So come on, stop acting like the show is pushing you off a cliff and you just have to hope for the best. Although I must say that the show did not seem to foresee the potential dangers of roller derby! Hmmm. So maybe I’m wrong… but I doubt it!

  3. One more thought and then I promise to go away – Did anyone else notice the worry that Des and the other girl had for Tierra when she was hypothermic? They rushed to see who it was and said with genuine concern, “She looks TERRIBLE!” What reasons did they list? Because she was purple? Because she was shaking uncontrollably? Because she was incoherent? No… “She has mascara running all down her face!” Cracked me up.

Talk to me, loser.