“You Get What You Deserve”

Please understand one thing…good advice is hard to find. If you’re a loser in life then you didn’t necessarily earn it. You could be the victim of someone else’s terrible “words of wisdom.” Let me explain.

There’s a recent Facebook trend of people girls “liking” pictures of various quotes. Let’s call them the “Successories” of the world wide web.

While some most all of them are incredibly cheesy and resemble something you would find scribbled on the inside of a 10-year old girl’s diary, you cannot argue against the “fabulous” advice they give. For example, I completely agree that “dreams don’t work unless you do,” except when my “dream” is to never work a day in my life. What do I do now? Do you see the problems this advice creates?

Another one of them states:

“Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.”

You know who’s favorite quote that is? Those college students who switch their major every year until – low and behold – they’re 29 and still “pre-med” or “taking another semester off to find themselves.” Sometimes getting lost is a very bad idea.

And my favorite:

“Every blade of grass has it’s own angel that bends over it and whispers ‘grow, grow.’

But really the angel should be whispering “be sure to get plenty of water and sunlight” because that’s what’s going to help the grass “grow, grow” more than a compliment would. It’s simple logic, people.

So, you can see how even the most inspirational of quotes is flawed. Still good advice? Errrrr…yes? But you should still be cautious.

You Get What You Deserve

The most frustrating quotes are the ones that over-generalize something, like this one:

Do all you girls really believe this? If so then sit down, this may take awhile.

Let’s just stop for a minute. I think we all know why every girl should NOT be treated like a princess. After all, if you’re a female and treat people sucky, or have loose morals, or you contribute nothing to society, then why should you be treated better than everyone else? Shouldn’t being treated like a princess be the exception, and not the rule?

Here’s another thing: let’s consider what princesses actually DO.

The answer is literally nothing.

• They have ALL DAY to sit around and read, cross stitch, or… … …sing to birds (???)
• If they go somewhere it’s only to attend some glamorous social event wearing a dress even Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman couldn’t afford.
• They don’t work.
• They don’t dress themselves.
• They barely feed themselves.
• Even though most princesses are considered “pretty,” they don’t even get to date – their parents pick their husbands for them.

Throw a bedazzled tiara on that girl’s head, and this is – in reality – what you would get:

Which eventually morphs into this:

Which, if left uncontrolled, morphs into this:

So, basically what “every girl” wants is to be treated like they’re the laziest and most helpless person on earth? Perhaps we should change this piece of advice to what it’s really saying:

Now, there are three groups who actually deserve to be treated like princesses, but only because they have to be:

1. REAL Princesses

I can’t fault someone who was born into this lifestyle. They can’t help it if their dad is a multi-billionaire, or inherited a bunch of land, or conquered a few countries. It’s like if you were born with one leg. Does everyone else deserve to be treated like they were born with one leg too? Nope, just you.

2. DISNEY Princesses (well…except for the Indian Native American, Asian and apparently all Mexicans)

If you have to wait in line for over two hours just to take a picture with someone who says they’re a princess, then they probably are one.

Now, only a few of the Disney characters are REAL princesses: Snow White, Ariel, Aurora and Jasmine, for example – so they qualify per Rule #1 above.

Although they are included in the Disney Princess franchise, Cinderella, Belle, and Tiana are not princesses by birth. However, they became princesses through marrying princes. This is acceptable.

Where it gets dicey is when you talk about Pocahontas and Mulan. Pocahontas is the daughter of a chief, but Native American tribes differ from tradition European royalty and so she can’t legitimately be considered a true “princess” can she? Mulan is not royal by birth and married a general, not a prince. Nice try, Asians.

Mexicans, or anyone from Spanish decent, are completely absent from the Disney Princess circle. So, I guess I’m kind of saying that Disney – while producing some outstanding princesses – is also horribly racist.

3. All of the Crawley women on Downton Abbey.*

*Except for Edith, of course.

We Set Our Own Price

I’m not saying that people aren’t worth more than they are receiving from a relationship. We all know quality women who truly should have more, but is the life of a princess really what they deserve?

I’m saying we decide what we are worth. If all you have to contribute is a pretty face or a large dowry then maybe the life of princess is for you.

After all, you get what you deserve.

2 thoughts on ““You Get What You Deserve””

  1. Amazing. Truly amazing.

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom what does the real princess do?” referring to Kate Middleton.

    Other than dress smartly, smile at the camera and be scrutinized by the media? I have absolutely NO idea.

Talk to me, loser.