What do James Bond, Voldemort, and Ralph Lauren have in common? They’re all part of TWEEKED! The best tweets of the 2012 Olympics!
NBC plans to air the film Seven after Olympics conclude, promote it by showing Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box.
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPN
The parade of nations must have gone much, much quicker at the Ancient Olympics: Greece, done.
@bengreenman
Ben Greenman
Dizzy Rascal, as the only Earthling to ever rap at the Olympics, is now the greatest rapper of all times.
@RufioJones
Joey Rhode
Dizzee Rascal at the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony
why look through a dead woman with a bingo addiction's closet for a usa windbreaker when theres one for $110 on the olympics website
@coreyafclark
c0reY aNN cLaRk
Also, does this mean that The Queen is a Bond girl? If so, that's excellent. Knighthoods all round.
@empiremagazine
Empire Magazine
Someone has to say it: This Mr. Bean stuff is why you lost the Revolutionary War, guys.
@AaronFullerton
Aaron Fullerton
Can we admit that Beijing pretty much ruined opening ceremonies for everyone else?
@fivethirtyeight
Nate Silver
Just when you thought Kobe couldn't look any more "rapey", they put a beret on him. God bless America. #OlympicCeremony
@TheDairylandDon
Don Nichols
Watching London’s opening ceremonies. Hard to believe my ancestors were conquered by theirs.
@ConanOBrien
Conan O'Brien
I feel bad for other countries because their olympians have no compelling stories worth hearing about. #NBC
@DannyZuker
Danny Zuker
I would appeal to the judges with a nice Pottery Barn gift card. More thoughtful than cash.
@PaulPabst
Paulie Pabst
"Hey man, lets start a band." "NO! Lets start a synchronized dive team bro."
@ericstonestreet
Eric Stonestreet
I bet Randy Johnson could have been the greatest team Handball player in the history of the world. #bigunit
@GrishamESPN
Todd Grisham
Bird gets hit by Baseball (Randy Johnson) Best Quality
Watching the Olympics is a great way to see someone else's dreams die for a change. http://t.co/D4IbKwpl
@someecards
someecards
LeBron James makes me want to root against my own country. Man, I really AM from Cleveland, aren't I?
@MrBrandonStroud
Brandon Stroud
The Olympics are proof that with hard work and dedication, you can be in a VISA commercial.
@StevenAmiri
Steven Amiri
Think we can all agree that the Australian Gymnastics Team has consistently presented the best variety of sparkle eye make-up.
@TheJamieLee
Jamie Lee
After the uneven bars the chinese gymnasts have to go sew US Olympic uniforms for Ralph Lauren.
@RickMuscles
Rick Muscles
How hard can something be if the best people in the world at it are teenagers? #olympics
@michaelianblack
Michael Ian Black
I imagine Jordyn Wieber is going to get torn apart tomorrow on gymnastics talk radio.
@sportspickle
SportsPickle
Crazy how gymnasts have enough time in their training schedule to record all the voices for the Chipmunks movies.
@ChaseMit
Chase Mitchell
If I hosted the #Olympics, the opening ceremony would be me playing soduko on my iPad with my pants unbuttoned.
@michaelaWat
Michaela Watkins
whoever said “it’s a small world” has never had to sit through the country parade in the Olympic opening ceremony
@lolzmolz
~rita oral☺~
MIKE SCULLYMy kids walked in while I was watching women’s beach volleyball so I had to quickly switch over to porn.
@DNev47
Dave Neville
I can't believe the Opening Ceremony announcers had the balls to say Voldemort's name.
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian
The only way I can watch men's beach volleyball is if Goose dies later. #Olympics
@StevenAmiri
Steven Amiri
WVSL Top Gun Volleyball
The best guy in the world at archery isn't at the Olympics; he's in a one-room cabin in Montana sorting through toenail clippings.
@dwangelo
David Angelo
Olympics have me inspired. What r ur hopes and dreams? I want to not die at a Residence Inn
@ecareyo
Carey O'Donnell
The only thing consoling Michael Phelps right now is a kiddie pool of Subway guacamole.
@matthewdolkart
Matthew Dolkart
When is slowly moving on the elliptical while watching TV going to be an Olympic event?
@JimGaffigan
Jim Gaffigan
If remembering people's names was an Olympic sport, my parents didn't love me.
@kevingchristy
Kevin Christy
Sooner or later a dolphin is going to get his nose stuck in a discarded Olympics logo and suffocate.
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian
Beijing: Okay, let's be classy and do things properly. London: YOLO let's get a 40ft Voldemort and Mr Bean to play the keyboard.
@Br0wnEyedGirl
slush puppy kisses.