TWEEKED! The best tweets of the 2012 Olympics.

TWEEKED! The Best Tweets of the 2012 Olympics

What do James Bond, Voldemort, and┬áRalph Lauren have in common? They’re all part of TWEEKED! The best tweets of the 2012 Olympics!

NBC plans to air the film Seven after Olympics conclude, promote it by showing Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box.
@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPN

 

I'm sorry England, ima let you finish, but China's opening ceremonies was the greatest of all time. #Olympics
@ALBDamn
Albert Butler

 

The parade of nations must have gone much, much quicker at the Ancient Olympics: Greece, done.
@bengreenman
Ben Greenman

 

Independent Olympic athletes dance drunk at the 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremonies. TWEEKED! The Best Tweets of the 2012 Olympics.

If drunk dancing is an event, the independent Olympic athletes have to be favorites.
@Chapinc
Chapinc

 

"The vast number of athletes you see here will not win a medal." --Matt Lauer, Motivational Speaker #Olympics
@TVMcGee
Ryan McGee

 

Dizzy Rascal, as the only Earthling to ever rap at the Olympics, is now the greatest rapper of all times.
@RufioJones
Joey Rhode

 

Dizzee Rascal at the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony

 

why look through a dead woman with a bingo addiction's closet for a usa windbreaker when theres one for $110 on the olympics website
@coreyafclark
c0reY aNN cLaRk

 

Also, does this mean that The Queen is a Bond girl? If so, that's excellent. Knighthoods all round.
@empiremagazine
Empire Magazine

 

My favorite part of the Opening Ceremonies was when nobody talked about Chick-Fil-A for four hours straight.
@Bezner
Steve Bezner

 

Someone has to say it: This Mr. Bean stuff is why you lost the Revolutionary War, guys.
@AaronFullerton
Aaron Fullerton

 

Can we admit that Beijing pretty much ruined opening ceremonies for everyone else?
@fivethirtyeight
Nate Silver

 

Just when you thought Kobe couldn't look any more "rapey", they put a beret on him. God bless America. #OlympicCeremony
@TheDairylandDon
Don Nichols

 

Kobe Bryant wears a beret during the Olympics opening ceremonies.

 

Watching London’s opening ceremonies. Hard to believe my ancestors were conquered by theirs.
@ConanOBrien
Conan O'Brien

 

I feel bad for other countries because their olympians have no compelling stories worth hearing about. #NBC
@DannyZuker
Danny Zuker

 

I would appeal to the judges with a nice Pottery Barn gift card. More thoughtful than cash.
@PaulPabst
Paulie Pabst

 

"Hey man, lets start a band." "NO! Lets start a synchronized dive team bro."
@ericstonestreet
Eric Stonestreet

 

I want to see a gymnast do that on an actual horse
@MoRocca
Mo Rocca

 

Gonna suck when those broke American Olympians try to sell their gold medals to cash for gold and find out they're 92% silver.
@Travon
Travon Free

 

I bet Randy Johnson could have been the greatest team Handball player in the history of the world. #bigunit
@GrishamESPN
Todd Grisham

 

Bird gets hit by Baseball (Randy Johnson) Best Quality

 

Watching the Olympics is a great way to see someone else's dreams die for a change. http://t.co/D4IbKwpl
@someecards
someecards

 

Watching the Olympics on NBC is like watching BREAKING BAD on Monday.
@DamonLindelof
Damon Lindelof

 

LeBron James makes me want to root against my own country. Man, I really AM from Cleveland, aren't I?
@MrBrandonStroud
Brandon Stroud

 

For every gold medal Greece wins it will increase its GDP by 1000%.
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian

 

The Olympics are proof that with hard work and dedication, you can be in a VISA commercial.
@StevenAmiri
Steven Amiri

 

Think we can all agree that the Australian Gymnastics Team has consistently presented the best variety of sparkle eye make-up.
@TheJamieLee
Jamie Lee

 

Gymnast hugs look like the worst hugs on Earth.
@yoyoha
Josh Hara

 

After the uneven bars the chinese gymnasts have to go sew US Olympic uniforms for Ralph Lauren.
@RickMuscles
Rick Muscles

 

How hard can something be if the best people in the world at it are teenagers? #olympics
@michaelianblack
Michael Ian Black

 

I like rooting for foreign teenage girls to fail.
@michaelianblack
Michael Ian Black

 

I imagine Jordyn Wieber is going to get torn apart tomorrow on gymnastics talk radio.
@sportspickle
SportsPickle

 

Crazy how gymnasts have enough time in their training schedule to record all the voices for the Chipmunks movies.
@ChaseMit
Chase Mitchell

 

If I hosted the #Olympics, the opening ceremony would be me playing soduko on my iPad with my pants unbuttoned.
@michaelaWat
Michaela Watkins

 

whoever said “it’s a small world” has never had to sit through the country parade in the Olympic opening ceremony
@lolzmolz
~rita oral☺~

 

MIKE SCULLYMy kids walked in while I was watching women’s beach volleyball so I had to quickly switch over to porn.
@DNev47
Dave Neville

 

I can't believe the Opening Ceremony announcers had the balls to say Voldemort's name.
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian

 

The only way I can watch men's beach volleyball is if Goose dies later. #Olympics
@StevenAmiri
Steven Amiri

 

WVSL Top Gun Volleyball

 

"Skeet shooting is not what I thought it was" -- every rapper. #Olympics
@JonWarech
Jon Warech

 

The best guy in the world at archery isn't at the Olympics; he's in a one-room cabin in Montana sorting through toenail clippings.
@dwangelo
David Angelo

 

Olympics have me inspired. What r ur hopes and dreams? I want to not die at a Residence Inn
@ecareyo
Carey O'Donnell

 

McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is like the Kardashians sponsoring a job fair.
@robfee
Rob Fee

 

The only thing consoling Michael Phelps right now is a kiddie pool of Subway guacamole.
@matthewdolkart
Matthew Dolkart

 

When is slowly moving on the elliptical while watching TV going to be an Olympic event?
@JimGaffigan
Jim Gaffigan

 

If remembering people's names was an Olympic sport, my parents didn't love me.
@kevingchristy
Kevin Christy

 

Sooner or later a dolphin is going to get his nose stuck in a discarded Olympics logo and suffocate.
@jasonmustian
Jason Mustian

 

Beijing: Okay, let's be classy and do things properly. London: YOLO let's get a 40ft Voldemort and Mr Bean to play the keyboard.
@Br0wnEyedGirl
slush puppy kisses.

 

Phelps just swam like a dude who likes weed and subway sandwiches.
@RickMuscles
Rick Muscles

Talk to me, loser.