What do Marshawn Lynch, Rush Limbaugh, and Comic-Con have in common? Find out in our latest edition of TWEEKED – Best Tweets of the Week!
Best Tweets of the Week for July 13-20, 2012
Why does my dog look like Rod Stewart?
I hope jocks don't find out about Comic Con because I don't think SD has enough toilet bowls for the amount of swirlies they will dish out.
I don't know who this "Shawty" lady is, but she apparently has a lot of rapper boyfriends.
Tap-Out t-shirts are a walking billboard for abusive relationships.
They truly are the dirty white tank tops of this generation.
Vegetarian, the old Indian word for suck at hunting.
Just saw a guy with a Great Gatsby tattoo reading The Great Gatsby. It's like, we believe you.
I gotta say, The Cantina Bowl is the most disappointing item I've ever had at Taco Bell. Who's runnin' the ship over there, soccer moms?
Movie Pitch - Mark Wahlberg plays a tough guy from boston and we'll figure the rest of it out as we go.
Just saw a guy getting jumped. I was going to help him out, but he was wearing Crocs.
My cat ate her breakfast then vomited it all up. I'm a little worried about her health but she does look awesome in a bikini.
Heard my mom use the word "bromance" and it felt like a knife to the gut.
Brody Jenner would understand.
When I say, "I love your face tattoo" I actually mean, "You didn't earn that for killing anybody did you?" Also, "I'll take a Chai latte"
Nets sign Kris Humphries to a 10-marriage long contract.
Lol RT @: Keep your life in a positive perspective. We are not defined by our pasts.
I don’t mean to brag but I have to admit I do make parenting look pretty hard.
I hate what happens to me when I see a T-shirt cannon.
I bet this guy
hates it even more.
Every day is Friday the 13th at an airport TGI Friday's.
Santana: "What's something smooth?"Rob Thomas: "The ocean! Under the moon!"Santana: "...we can use that til we think of something better."
Looking to update my wardrobe does anybody know where gang members get those airbrushed tee shirts they wear to funerals?
Someone more attractive than you shares your talents
Buys temperpedic bed. Spills wine.
Bad Luck Brian must not have jumped in the right spot. (And there’s no way that chick is landing a back flip):
One time I smashed my face into the keyboard and accidentally wrote the 4th Twilight book.
My favorite Pearl Jam song is the one where Eddie Vedder is all 'mmslhd mmsmmhmm dmm tllmm'
Why am I on my porch grilling steak in my underwear? Stop asking so many questions and just enjoy the show.
I've got 99 problems and they're all FABULOUS! ~ Gay-Z
The Olympics is a collection of sports not played seriously since television started.
My dad gave my girlfriend "Alvin in the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked" as a bday gift...just so you know where my relationship is at.
Any uniform that involves a beret is already problematic.
I don't have love handles. I have HATE handles.
I wonder how many nerds returned home from COMIC-CON to learn their parents had rented out the basement.
I only watch reality TV for the time lapse sunsets.
I bet coke addicts only get worse once they try the cherry kind.
Marshawn Lynch arrested for DUI after washing his Skittles down with 8 beers.
The producers of #TheBachelorette certainly know their way around a candle store.
Oh you found a logged in Facebook account? Tell me more about how awesome you are at hacking
It's official...I am a worst case scenario.
.@ You should read up on Bane. He's an oversized drug-addict with anger issues who's been popular since the 90s. You'd love him.
Rush Limbaugh said ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ villain Bane represents a deliberate attack on Mitt Romney since he shares the same name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran (Bain). Never mind that Bane was introduced almost 20 years ago by DC Comics.
Watching Cops and I'm pissed no one told me fanny packs are back in style.
Haven’t you heard? Fanny packs are NOT just a fad.
When I finally fall in love, I want there to be fireworks (& another person).
There's gotta be one guy at every Westboro Baptist church activities meeting who's like, "I think we're getting a little off track here."
Pretty sure all the Step Up movies are made by an intern with a studio credit card no one is keeping track of.
If you watch Hoarders backwards it's about this terrible company 1-800-GOT-JUNK that fills peoples' houses with garbage & rotten food.
Just planted a bunch of dead horses on the set of THE NEWSROOM. Fingers crossed!
Yeah, good “Luck” with that.
I've found there are actually some very talented drummers on subway platforms that hate having their buckets kicked onto the train tracks.
unfollow me if you truly believe that top gun is a better jet movie than iron eagle. if top gun is so great, why didn't they make 4 of them?
An organization made entirely of men that wear scarfs and sow badges onto vests won’t let gays join
Delonte West called Dez Bryant's mom to ask if she needs some "healing."