TWEEKED - Tweets of the Week for losers.

TWEEKED – Tweets of the Week June 30-July 6

What do John Tesh, the white Steve Nash, and the Bachelorette have in common? Find out in our latest edition of TWEEKED – the tweets of the week for June 30-July 6, 2012.

Just saw a guy holding a paper map. Yes, I punched him in the face.
@nealbrennan
Neal Brennan

 

The 'greatest generation' is NOT WWII vets but today's teens having to like totally balance texting, shopping & One Direction.
@rainnwilson
RainnWilson

 

I was still mad at the British until Boy George.
@michaelianblack
Michael Ian Black

Agreed. Would you really want to hurt him?

You're nice to the weird kid once, then BOOM. Stalked for life.
@TheComedyHumor
Funny Rude Tweets

 

Fritzy using a knife and fork to eat wings. Discuss. http://t.co/vKc2HRU5
@PaulPabst
Paulie Pabst

Fritzy from the Dan Patrick show eats wings with a knife and fork in our Tweets of the Week.

Update on the Fritzy-knife/fork wing eating situation. NOT boneless wings. Traditional wings.
@PaulPabst
Paulie Pabst

Fritzy better hope Jon Stewart doesn’t find out about this.

Vince McMahon has banned baby oil and spray tans #fakeWWErumors
@vancespn
Vance

Of course, there are always exceptions.

Hey Guys. I'm totally stoked. I love my new image. I actually have on a polo shirt.. I just love everyone.I feel like grey pupon..
@MettaWorldPeace
Metta WorldPeace

 

USA Today reports Saints coach Sean Payton has filed for divorce. Unknown if there is a bounty yet.
@SteveHuntsgvn
Steve Hunt

 

Watching soccer gives me the same feeling as watching a drunk guy try to get his key in the door.
@bazecraze
Alex Baze

 

Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks
@chrisrock
Chris Rock

 

We get a crap load off at Christmas for somethin' everyone doesn't believe in. But ONE day for the USA? A celebraish for ALL? Ain't right.
@DadBoner
Karl Welzein

 

Just heard a black weatherman say "drizzle" & am ashamed to say that for a second I thought he was doing that Snoop Dogg thing.
@DannyZuker
Danny Zuker

 

I think one of Jef's sisters ate his other f. #Bachelorette
@JasonBiggs
Jason Biggs

Be sure to also check out the Bachelorette Breakdown – The Final Four!

"What's independence?" "Don't worry about it." - men to women, July 5, 1776
@kristygee
Kristy Grant

 

My spell-check wants to change "Tesh" to "Yeah." You needn't bother, spell-check: he does that with his music. #gentleTweets
@pattonoswalt
Patton Oswalt

Did you know John Tesh composed “Roundball Rock” a theme song used for The NBA on NBC from 1990-2002?

Just carpooled to a 4th party with six people in a Prius. You're welcome, earth.
@johnpboyle
John Boyle

 

Since 2007, Joey Chestnut has had more hot dogs (377) than the #Pirates have wins (370)
@JLundbladESPN
Jeremy Lundblad

 

Did anyone else get a yeast infection from seeing "Magic Mike?"
@Jason23Nash
Jason Nash

 

If Lindsay Lohan made it through her cracked-out bleached-blonde lesbian jailbird phase, you can make it through today.

 

Everything in this photo was made in America, except the flag... That was actually made in China. HaPpY 4th http://t.co/A6rShwFQ
@lolojones
Lolo Jones

Lolo Jones says everything is made in USA except the flag which is made in China in our Tweets of the Week.

In the wake of Anderson Cooper's shocking revelation, I'd like to announce that I'm fat.
@1500ESPN_Reusse
Patrick Reusse

 

If the Lakers gets Steve Nash and Grant Hill, they'll be the favorites to win the 2005 NBA Championship
@AKuperstein
Adam Kuperstein

 

Big deal, Anderson Cooper has been gray for years.
@mjsamps
Mike Sampson

 

I spent 18 years in the closet. Not because I was ashamed to be gay, but because I needed the time to choose outfits.
@jackmackenroth
Jack Mackenroth

 

 

Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called “50 Shades of Just O.K.”
@ConanOBrien
Conan O'Brien

 

Missed last week’s best tweets? Check out the best TomKat divorce tweets here!

Talk to me, loser.